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How I’d Choreograph the Vancouver Olympics Opening Ceremony

February 14, 2010

Gandalf saying, "You shall not pass!"


Gandalf saying...something else 😉

How I’d Choreograph the Vancouver Olympics Opening Ceremony

After viewing Vancouver’s strange, bizarre but still entertaining Olympics opening Ceremony,
many of you have asked how I might do my own version of the Vancouver Opening Ceremony, keeping with some of the themes they used in the real one.  Ok, when I say many, I

mean a few of you…Well, when I say a few, it means a couple.  Fine, when I say a couple, only one of you…Sigh, yes, when I say one of “you”, I actually refer to “me”, which means, I asked myself to design and choreography my own Olympics Opening Ceremony, if Vancouver impossibly got another chance to do that.

First, let’s recap what the actual Vancouver 2010 Olympics included, and I will then follow with a list of what I’d include instead:

Vancouver 2010 Olympics Opening Ceremony design

-cool snowboarders down the mountain, making a giant maple leaf light up on the mountain.
-visual imagery of Vancouver looking like an absolute utopia, and a whole lot like Middle-Earth (from Peter Jackson’s brilliant film interpretation of Tolkien’s “Lord of the Rings” {LOTR})
-a fun dancing clubbing party by representatives from Canada’s wonderful indigenous peoples
-a Gigantic, Polar Gummi Bear
-an arctic, Canadian Gandalf (character from LOTR)
-the same arctic Gandalf with his magical staff also doing the same “You shall not pass!” type of attack on the surrounding peoples
-a giant mountain that looked, at first like Mt. Doom, at the heart of Mordor (LOTR, again), with people flying
-cool Whales swimming through the floor (reminded me of Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home)
-the Dark Knight, Batman, flying in a boat, over Mt. Doom, and with all the people on the ground watching (at this point, the mood was epic and dark)
-Batman, somehow becoming a fiddler Batman…and then a drunken, fiddler Batman, and all the people somehow became drunken dancers as well (don’t get me wrong, it was quite entertaining…just really bizarre)
-The tree from the James Cameron new movie, “Avatar” and all the Canadian Na’vi (the aliens in Avatar). (Yes, I learned later it was supposed to emulate Emily Carr’s art!), and more flying people.
-Canadian Peter Pan flying through the air, over golden wheat, and strange dark horses travelling across the wheat.
-And even more flying people, and more flying people, and lots of psychedelic lights, and other fun craziness.
-pretty cool Slam Poet
-3 out of 4 Torch metal poles (which still looked cool despite the malfunction)

Nathan’s Choreography of the Vancouver Olympics with Similar Themes:

Lego Gandalf

-First, keep the giant Polar Gummi Bear and the fiddler Batman + Gandalf.  Those were too bizarrely brilliant to abandon.
-Keep those in the scene, and instead of Peter Pan, have Superman fly in to attack the Polar Bear.  While they’re wrestling, have Gandalf approach
and try the “You shall not pass!” thing and magic.  As the ground is shaking with Gandalf’s power, then have the Fiddler Batman drop in.
-Fiddler Batman starts fiddling, but then all of a sudden, he spins around and turns into a Hobbit, while all the dancers become Pink pig-like Smurfs and fly up and down Mt. Doom.
-Then have Peter Jackson come in as the Slam Poet, but have him to “Slam poetry” off of some Elven song from LOTR.

-THEN, the critical part is this….:  Suddenly, as the poem ends, and the heroes are battling the Polar Gummi Bear, Gandalf is doing his thing, and all the chaos is ensuing….the WHOLE STADIUM goes dark…for 10 seconds….Suddenly, you see the Polar Gummi Bear slowly start to light up again, with those blue sparkly star that made him glow.  So, one blue star of the bear lights up, then a second, then a third, then another etc. etc., until you can see the outline of the Gummi Bear again.  Then, in a complete shock to the billions of viewers around the world, you see each blue star from the bear slowl transform….into a FACE!!!!  But not just any face!!  Each face is a Chinese-Canadian!!  You find out the whole bear is made up of Chinese Canadians!!!   Then, all of faces smile, and then you can see each of the people making up the Gummi Bear all JUMP OUT at you!!!!

Flying Wayne Gretzky

As they Jump Out, the bear slowly   disappears!  …And you notice that each one is wearing a cape!  Suddenly, all these fiddles come flying out of nowhere and land in the hands of each person…and again, the drunken fiddle dancing continues!!  After that, they all gather in a circle, start jumping in unison, surrounding Mt. Doom.  The whole ground shakes, as does Mt. Doom, and you get the sense it’s going to Erupt. After you hear chants of “Go! Go! Go!”, the whole stadium shakes and it goes pitch black again.  Suddenly the Mt. Doom ERUPTS!, and instead of Lava, DIM SUM pops out and surrounds the whole stadium!  And then, as every member of the audience is getting a “siu mai”, a “ha gow” or “siu long bao” in their hands from Mt. Doom’s eruption, and you think it can’t get any cooler, it goes pitch black again…there’s a long drum roll that starts to build up…more and more instruments are added to build up the suspense (e.g. guitars, pan flutes, pianos, loud synthesized stuff, Fiddles)….when suddenly, a blinding light briefly shines from the middle, and Mount Doom explodes one last, giant time!!!

As your eyes start to focus, you see it’s a Giant Flame that is bursting vertically skyward and explodes straight through the BC Place Dome!!  And it keeps going higher and higher through the sky, then surpasses all scientific reason through the atmosphere, and goes straight into Outer Space!!!  You see all the Fiddlers with Capes all fly out at blazing speed, twirling around the flame blast as they all go out into space!  Where are they all going?

Pig-like smurfs on the moon?

Well, they’re all going to the MOON!  Because that’s where the Olympic Cauldron is!!!  As the blaze of fire is moving at ludicrous speeds to the moon, you see each of the flying fiddlers light the fiddles on fire, as if they’re torches!!!  Finally, in a glorious final scene, the all-encompassing flames hit this giant cauldron on the moon!!!!!!!   The flying fiddlers land, with torch -fiddles in hand, surrounding the cauldron. The flame on the cauldron calms and sparkles gloriously. The flying fiddlers all raise their fiddles high, when in the distance, you see hundreds of stars slowly move and converge into a shape…It’s not just any shape…They converge one more time into, yes, the POLAR GUMMI BEAR…..Then drunken fiddle-dancing ensues, the pig-like smurfs randomly appear again, and you see Wayne Gretzky doing the moonwalk, and then suddenly a giant squirrel comes straight at you and says, Happy Chinese New Year!!!

haha, what do you think? <GONG!>



One Comment leave one →
  1. February 14, 2010 9:37 am

    Dude – I like yours. At least, no matter how weird it would be, I’d have the confidence all the hydraulics would work. You rule.


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